Guility for dealing badly with negative feedback from schools on child conduct.
Just like any other day, I rushed to school to pick up Joel. It was drizzling, and I only brought along a small umbrella hurrying to fetch him. Still, I was looking forward to a cool evening walk home with him, catching up with his adventure from a learning trip he was having for the day. Unfortunately, I arrived in time only to see his teacher with him outside of the school gate, waiting for me to relate his misconduct for the day. My first inner voice shouted "Not Again?!" And of course, whatever followed turn negative.
"Mrs Wong, your son purposely kicked and broke a friend's water bottle. He has been getting increasingly naughty since the school holiday ended." Oh my! That's second week in a row that I had this "privilege" of meeting the teacher to receive direct feedback of my son's misconduct! I stared hard and angrily at my son. I tried to hold my cool but had been too cool, to the extent, it was cold. We bid farewell to the teacher, and I did not utter a word to Joel. It was drizzling, but I walked on, holding tight to the tiny umbrella, barely sufficient for two. Joel was walking fast, trying to keep up to my fast angry pace. I am sure he felt droplets all over, but I was too angry and disappointed to care. The cold silence remained even until the next morning, I did not even bother to find out from him what really happened. However, it was my sister that had spoken and lectured him on the night of the event. She took the trouble to interrogate him, and mentored him how to manage the situation. Then, turning to me, she shared "Joel has anger management issue."
After a night's rest and a breakfast time alone with Joel, I started to cool down and spoke to him more. I tried to understand the whole situation from him, and also gave him scenarios how he should handle the situation. Thinking back, and also some wise words from peers, I realised that I have been too harsh on the boy, not defending him when the teacher pointed fingers. As he had some misconduct reported to me before for being too chatty in class, the teachers already rated him as a mischeivous boy. Any further incidences would have been biased judgement against him as well. Besides, I am thought that as parents, as well as educators, should we not refrain from using negative words against the child, especially when talking to the child directly? Then why is this so-called experienced teacher branding my son "naugthy" in the boy's face?
It's indeed a learning curve for the family, parents and child, and I hope we will all turn for the better. And definitely I have learnt to have more faith in my boy, and be more encouraging to him in improving instead.
"Mrs Wong, your son purposely kicked and broke a friend's water bottle. He has been getting increasingly naughty since the school holiday ended." Oh my! That's second week in a row that I had this "privilege" of meeting the teacher to receive direct feedback of my son's misconduct! I stared hard and angrily at my son. I tried to hold my cool but had been too cool, to the extent, it was cold. We bid farewell to the teacher, and I did not utter a word to Joel. It was drizzling, but I walked on, holding tight to the tiny umbrella, barely sufficient for two. Joel was walking fast, trying to keep up to my fast angry pace. I am sure he felt droplets all over, but I was too angry and disappointed to care. The cold silence remained even until the next morning, I did not even bother to find out from him what really happened. However, it was my sister that had spoken and lectured him on the night of the event. She took the trouble to interrogate him, and mentored him how to manage the situation. Then, turning to me, she shared "Joel has anger management issue."
After a night's rest and a breakfast time alone with Joel, I started to cool down and spoke to him more. I tried to understand the whole situation from him, and also gave him scenarios how he should handle the situation. Thinking back, and also some wise words from peers, I realised that I have been too harsh on the boy, not defending him when the teacher pointed fingers. As he had some misconduct reported to me before for being too chatty in class, the teachers already rated him as a mischeivous boy. Any further incidences would have been biased judgement against him as well. Besides, I am thought that as parents, as well as educators, should we not refrain from using negative words against the child, especially when talking to the child directly? Then why is this so-called experienced teacher branding my son "naugthy" in the boy's face?
It's indeed a learning curve for the family, parents and child, and I hope we will all turn for the better. And definitely I have learnt to have more faith in my boy, and be more encouraging to him in improving instead.
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